I’m a liar, a big, fat liar.
Okay, perhaps I’m being overly dramatic but it is a bit true. And a bit not. Confused yet?
I tell people I’m happy being single… and most of the time, I am. But the liar part of that story is that I want the dream – I want to fall madly in love with a guy who loves me back, get married, have a couple of kids and live happily ever ever. I want the fairy tale. Oh, I know it’s reality for many people but so far, it’s not been my reality. I tend to fall for guys who don’t love me back. And the guys that fall for me… just aren’t my thing.
It’s no secret that I’m a romantic. In fact, I’ve even mentioned it here a time or two. And if you actually know me, you might know that my emotions are very close to the surface – I tear up at the drop of a hat and fall in love in an instant. Luckily; I’ve also spent many years perfecting a cover for them since I am hopelessly romantic and sometimes, being a romantic chick and being single is a difficult mix. It’s why I’m always overly emotional this time of year. I say overly emotional because I’m always emotional, it’s just that normally I can hide it. Most people actually think I’m chill and laid back but inside, I’m a bit more emotional than you think or might imagine. And spring is my kryptonite. Not Valentine’s Day like you may think, but spring.
Why? Because in spring you see all the couples… everywhere. May is the worst month as everyone is walking around in pairs looking at the cherry blossoms or such. And it brings home the fact that I’m single. So I get sad and introspective.
This spring is just a little worse for a completely odd reason. You see, when I found my current apartment three and a half years ago, I made myself a promise that I would stay here (unless something happened) until I moved in with my future boyfriend/husband. Well, I’ve dated but nothing ever progressed to the point where we were ready to live with each other.
I know what you’re thinking… you’ve been there for over three years, why is it an issue now? Well, I just finished looking for a new roommate. I found one but it oddly ended up making me sad that I’m single. Yeah, my mind works in weird and mysterious ways.
But for all that I’m a romantic and a tad emotional at times – a friend recently called me a “sponge” at a film festival we are both involved in as I cried at a lot of the films – I’m a happy person. The sad jag that had me starting this article has already passed but it has made me realize that my friends and co-workers are right. It’s time to put myself out there again and start dating.
One good thing about dating is it tends to give me lots of fodder for writing and stories so you might be seeing some more regular articles on here. But how do I cure my tendency to romanticize everything?
More importantly, how do I stop falling for the wrong guys? Because if you know, I’d love for you to share. You see, not only am I single and recently come to the conclusion that it’s time to start dating again but I’m not currently infatuated with anyone. But I want to fall for a guy who falls for me too. I just need to figure out how to do that… suggestions anyone?