Dating · Toronto

My bad luck with online dating

I’m single and like many single people, I’ve tried online dating. Now when I broke up with my last boyfriend last April (wow, it’s been a year), after my normal period of reflection about why the relationship didn’t work (communication problems), I leapt into the world of online dating. Okay, I dipped my toes in quietly.

I figured, why not, I’m always online anyway with my writing so why not. Plus there are no single guys at work and when I’m covering events or working on an article, I would feel awkward about chatting up some cute guy. And yeah, there have been a couple of guys that I see at events whom I wouldn’t mind flirting with…

Side note: my friends and I disagree on this, they think I can still flirt and be professional. I don’t. Which sucks because most of my social life revolves around events that I’m covering. What do you think? Can someone flirt and be professional at the same time?

But I’m getting offtrack. I was single, ready to date but with no possibilities I felt comfortable with. So I did what countless others have done before me and ventured into online dating. Okay, not for the first time but this was the first time I tried more than one site over a six month period. Want to know what I thought of the three I tried and why I think I have crappy luck with online dating? Keep reading!

eHarmony

So first, I joined eHarmony. Or rather, I reactivated my old profile and added new pictures. Like many people, I’ve heard good things about them but the two times I’ve tried it, it really didn’t work out for me. Oh, I was matched with lots of guys and even went on a few first dates.

Unfortunately, I was so not impressed with the selection of dudes and the couple of dates I did go on… not worth it. First, the dude who didn’t/wouldn’t talk. I can be quiet at times but conversation with this guy was like pulling teeth. Next up was the guy who spent the entire date on his Blackberry. Come to think of it, he’s the second guy I’ve had a first date with who has done that.

But my least favourite was the guy who seemed great on the first date and then morphed into a total ass on the second. Dude grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my eyes (none too gently I might add) when I tried to cover them at the theatre (at a scary point in the film). I just about smacked him. I love thrillers and scary films but will freely admit I can be a wuss… I’ll cover my eyes at certain points. What would I like a guy to do at that point? Simple, put his arm around me. Or hell, even ignore me. But not forcibly remove my hand from my eyes.

So, that was enough duds, it was time to try a different site.

OkCupid

My previous roommate convinced me that OkCupid was the way to go. Um no. Way more oddballs or dudes looking for a hookup it seemed. Although I will admit that some of the naked chest pictures were pretty sweet eye candy. Okay, it wasn’t all bad, the guy who tried to hook up with me twice with two different accounts – same lines, same pictures – did make me laugh. Just how stupid did he think the girls were?

Oddly, even though my desired age range for a guy is set at 30-44, I most often get contacted by guys 23-26. Hm, does my profile seem immature? It’s funny. And a heads up to guys, when you message me, don’t start the conversation with “You’re gorgeous.” or “You’re stunning.” It just makes me laugh. How about reading my profile and asking a question based on what’s in it?

I’m still on it (it’s free) but… my new roommate convinced me to try a different site.

Match

So my latest foray, Match.com, is simply because they had a fabulous Valentine’s Day deal – and apparently they’re the biggest site. Well, that and the others weren’t working for me. Apparently it’s the biggest. So far, I’m not impressed with their matching algorithm but at least the guys I’ve talked to seem normal. I haven’t met any yet though.

I am starting to think I must suck at crafting my online profile though because I’m not getting contacted much. Sad beans! However, I’m still reserving my judgement on this site as I don’t have enough data.

Online dating in general

Well, I’m not sure if it’s that my profile just sucks – although I did have three friends read it when they were all over for drinks one evening and they liked it. But they were all girls, maybe I need a guy friend to vet it. But whatever, I’d love to know what it is about either my profile or pictures (which are all less than a year old – hey, I’m honest) that keeps netting the attention of young dudes. I know I look younger than my actual age but my profile does say my age.

So far my verdict is that online dating really isn’t working out for me. Maybe I should just try dating in real life… but that would mean I might have to ask a guy out. Just not sure I can…

What about you? Have you tried online dating? How did it work out for you?

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7 thoughts on “My bad luck with online dating

  1. Hello! I’m sorry you’ve had a crap time 😦 I sympathise, I pretty much went throuth the same thing, over 3 yrs I tried them all and went on some pretty horrendous dates! (I write about them on my blog at http://www.peppermintsea.com) ….. it took me a long time to work out where I was going wrong. I read a couple of books and realised a few things. I made a list of the qualities I was looking for, rewrote my profile, redid my pictures and within a week I was chatting to a man who 10 months later I married! That was last year 🙂 I write about al this on my blog if you want some more tips. Good luck, trust your instincts and dont give up! Amy

  2. Roosh V can explain why Toronto is a hellhole for single men. Too many stuck up bitches and sluts who fuck Tom, Dick and Harry for money and career advancement many men GTOW or hire prostitutes to release some of that tension. Toronto feminists are to blame for spreading their Marxist theories and men aren’t falling for that marriage trap.

    End of rant but I’m deeply sorry that you were unable to get a date, the feminist Marxists have destroyed the dating scene.

    1. I’ve been on 17 dates in the GTA in the past 3 months and Bade does have a point. I don’t blame it on feminists though – I blame online dating. Its a meat market, even if you make an OK match you’ll be pulled back onto the site to try and find that elusive “better one” and everyone is bad for it. Think of it as 1500 channels and you can’t find anything to watch, same thing.

      Cindy – are you reaching out to men on Match? 80% of my dates are with women that messaged me first. Don’t sit around waiting…

      You can read about my dates on my blog http://www.30sdater.com

      1. Hey there, I do agree that online dating does appear to give more choices but that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone keeps dipping back in.

        And yeah, I have reached out to guys – all my guy friends recommended it – and while it often generates conversation, I find that people aren’t always what they say on their profiles. I’ll check out your blog though, maybe I’ll get some pointers.

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